The next day I was running a cooking group with a few of my patients, and this sweet patient we now fondly refer to as "Baelzebub" was ordering everyone around. She told me to put a plastic bag around the sugar before I put it away, because she thought it was leaking. I told her it wasn't leaking, and proceeded to put the sugar away. She then yelled "It's a good thing your not in my kitchen. I'm going to come over there and beat the shit out of you!" I was kind of suprised, and taken back. I then started laughing really hard, because this sweet looking grandma hunched over in her wheelchair had just threatened to "beat the shit out of me." I was not the only one laughing.
When I asked her to stir the brownies, she barked "Go get me a spatula!" I said "There is one in the bowl." She shouted "That's not a spatula, that's a spoon. Are you deaf? Go get me a spatula, and hurry up!" I told her rather indignently she could just stir it with her pitchfork. She just looked at me. So I opened the kitchen drawer and handed her the spatula. As soon as I handed it to her, she said "It's about time you got over here!" All the other patient's started laughing. She then started to order around one of the physical therapists walking by. She handed him a bowl, and told him to go wash it. He told her he wasn't even a part of the cooking group. she said "I don't care, just do it! " Chelsea told "Baelzebub" to stop being so bossy and mean. Then Jeff (her PT) said while laughing "She can't help it. She has to be bossy. It is hard running that kingdom of fire and brimstone!" she responded "Yeah it is! I need a forked tongue the way these guys are monkeying around." I couldn't stop laughing after that. I thought Jeff was exaggerating about how honory she was, but he wasn't kidding!
Later that day, Jeff was working with her and put a hot pack on her shoulder in preparation for stretching. She started complaining that she didn't want heat, so Jeff told her "I'm just trying to simulate your home environment." She laughed and said in her crackly little old lady voice "Oh ok." I tried to hold back the laughter. A few minutes later he asked her to throw the Nerf ball with him. She firmly said "No!" Jeff asked her "why not? We need to do this." She said "I don't care! I think your full of shit!" All the patients and staff around started laughing. Jeff then said "come on, just do it." She said again "No, You're full of shit!" More laughter erupted. He threw the ball at her, and she wouldn't catch it. She let it hit the ground and just kicked it back at him. I saw this go on for a couple of minutes. Finally he ended up taking her back to her room.
Since then, I have seen them banter on like this in other therapy sessions. I must say, I am always amused when she is down in the gym. It is moments like these that make life entertaining. The staff members are still teasing me about being threatened by a 85 year old lady in a wheelchair. I can't wait to see what happens next week.